Jealousy: A How-To-Guide

Wednesday, 20 June 2018



As much as I try to keep my blog all positive and rosy, unfortunately, life just isn't always perfect and imperfections, such as jealousy, creep their way into everyday life. I also realise this is a slight departure from my usual type of post, but I've had a encounter with this recently and thought I'd share my tips on how to identify jealousy and how to deal with it, based on my experiences.

Who? Where?

Jealousy is a simple fact of human nature. Everyone is guilty of having the green eyed monster creep up within inside them, and everyone has aspects of their lives that others are jealous of. Jealousy happens everywhere, the workplace, at home, within friendship groups. It does not matter who you are or where you are, at some point in your life, this nasty and unattractive facet, will affect you at some stage.

How?

Identifying jealousy can be tricky, as often it is masked under a fake friendship. Things that should be setting off alarm bells could include the following:

Being caught in a game of one-upmanship

Everyone's guilty of trying to outdo one of their friends, it's kind of natural. Buuuuut, when your 'friend' is continually trying to beat you, it can be demoralising and highlights jealousy.

Copying you

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, it's not. It's downright bloody annoying. This one is closely linked with the one-upmanship, as often and in my experience, it will be copying you but trying to do it better.

Continually being made to look stupid

I know that's obvious, but when someone's continually raining on your parade and deliberately making you look stupid in front of others, this highlights jealousy.

Sabotaging your goals

I think this one speaks for itself. If you have a friend constantly sabotaging you... PUT THEM IN THE BIN RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

Talking about you behind your back

Another self explanatory one- if s/he's a bitch, you need to say 'Bye Bitch'.

Relishing in your failures

Everybody has ugly photos taken of them, but when your supposed friend is sending all of your #uglies round social media when you've expressed your feelings towards the photo is just not on. They are relishing in the fact you don't look your best and this just highlights jealousy.

Isolating you from other friends

Self-explanatory. It's your right to be able to speak to whomever you damn well want (I mean, provided they want to speak to you too, don't go forcing your messages on some poor unsuspecting person ahahah). If your friend is stopping you from speaking to who you want to speak to, byeeeeee gal/guy!

How to Deal With It

I think, firstly, it's important not to take jealousy to heart. The root of jealousy, is something to do with the other person and the insecurities they have within themselves. No matter how hard you try to alleviate their insecurities- that's not on you. It's something they need to deal with by themselves.

I would then secondly, try and rise above it. Yes yes yes, I hear you. It's easier said then done, and trust me, don't I know those feels. Rising to it can often leave you on their level.

If you have to escalate it, like I had to, try to get to the root of it with the person and then work on a resolution together. Try not to be accusatory and broach the subject in a very nudge-nudge kind of way.

I also personally made time for myself, did things for me because I wanted to and also talked about the situation with my friends (shout out to Mollie, Tanya and Emma!). Bottling things up is never good, and it was honestly so good to be able to speak to the girls about it (especially as they were an impartial third party!).

Have you dealt with jealousy before? How have you dealt with it? I'd love some tips and to hear from you!

XOXO Molly

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